Free thoughts

a look into my personal creative process

As I sit in my room trying to write my next piece my mind is racing. I am trying every trick I have to pull the material out of me. Pounding each letter out on the keyboard willing my mind to build a melody out of the key taps that will sustain progress and push the paragraphs forth in some cacophonous rhythm. The ideas war within me while my fingers decide the order in which they tumble out. Witchcraft is a vast topic with no real agreeable starting point. It's personal and it’s messy. Getting spiritual is a process of self-discovery. You can have any reason in the world that drags you into spirituality and witchcraft, those worlds will take you down roads of self-discovery you never could have imagined. It certainly did that to me and it still does. This morning has been no different. 

I realize as I sit here writing this as a redirection, that I am beginning to settle into the writing process. That the struggle to get every letter and every word to the page is becoming familiar in the same way walking into a home does after a long day. Being frustrated and working through it is becoming a welcome part of the process and I am getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Witchcraft does this a lot. Every time I sit down to teach myself a new technique, I feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel downright silly in my first attempts. I did when I started this page. I have moments where I wonder if I have the authority to write on the occult and all of its mysteries. I do and deep down I know that. I have sat with many beings and talked with them. I have spent nights with them observing what makes them, them. That is how I build myself back up. I remind myself of all the work I have done. Sitting in states of meditation all day to develop an idea. Spending weeks gaining a deeper understanding of one concept. Noting all other concepts with which it is entangled.

I started this page because I wanted to provide a different perspective on witchcraft. A new way to look at energy and how we connect with it. How that determines the way we connect with other people and with our higher selves. I want to pull back the curtain on the alchemical self in a way that is refreshing and maybe a little less intimidating. Mainstream the process in a way that others can find it effortlessly. Every piece I sit down to write, the series of posts I am working on now, creates another connection with the occult and my life’s purpose. The herbs I speak on, the energies I describe, when I am breaking them down to you, I am also creating a further connection to them within myself. I am growing in the pursuit of helping others grow. This is a generalized view of shadow work. Something I will touch on more in a separate post. The transformation of the individual while transforming others. This is my purpose and this heals me. 

I have cried and laughed and counted to ten trying to write my next piece today and I took a 15-minute mediation break, to re-center my mind and remind myself why this struggle is so important. That meditation allowed me to step back and consider giving you a peek into the process I go through and the way my magic works in my own life. The messages my higher self sends me, and the way I respond to those. I sit through the struggle and the work shows itself. Even if I have to walk away to ground, and meditate on what I'm trying to get out. I want to emphasize how hard witchcraft is. I want to normalize the hard work and the emotional journey that comes from stepping into this way of life. Spirituality brings you so close to your higher self. The version of you operating on invisible frequencies that the physical body and eyes can’t perceive on their own. Often this lifestyle will rock you to the core of your soul. It will touch you deeply and leave you emotionally bankrupt. There are profound movements that happen within the mind and within the conscious awareness we call ourselves the moment we begin to open ourselves up to those energies, frequencies, and constructs. It is not easy. It demands that you push yourself and keep going on with the strength of your devotion.

I live many lives of service day to day. The occult, my magic, and my connection with my higher self is the life of service I live for myself. That is why I continue. That is why I share. I want the occult, spirituality, witchcraft, or whatever you want to label it for yourself, to be the beneficial act of service you choose to do for yourself. The progress and positive motions you choose to develop and open up for yourself. I want you to benefit from them as I have. I want you to grow and heal from life's many hardships. I want you to take back the power you feel is gone or missing from life. I want you to fall in love with the universe around you. I want to give magic to you, to everyone. We all deserve magic in our lives.